Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
