dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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