Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
