I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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