I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
