I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
