I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
