I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
