what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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