if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
