He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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