i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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