No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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