I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
