you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Randomize
