Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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