So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
