Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
