guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
