While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
