Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
