he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
