I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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