How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
