OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
God, I missed his penis.
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