You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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