That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
