youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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