I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
