I'm drive I can fine osifer
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm at about main and main street
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Randomize
