i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
