my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
you traded sex for a burrito?
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
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