she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
