what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
we made out on top of his cat.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
