Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
don't judge my taste in strippers
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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