hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
