Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
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