You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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