Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize