whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
