i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
