did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize