don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
