great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i wish my penis had a tongue
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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