He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
