they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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