Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
