so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
