I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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