Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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