He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
