Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
