Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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