the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
