i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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