ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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