Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
