I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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