I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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