Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
