We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
