I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
