meet me or not, i'm out of control
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
