he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
