Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Randomize
